An Old Friend
by pinkydog123
Summary: Shepard contact's Kaidan after Freedom's Progress. Illusive Man has sent no fabricated rumors. They meet at the Citadel. Kaidan/femShepard One-shot.


**A/N: Kaidan's a little more of a push over in this scenario, not so much the bull-headed ass we met on Horizon in the game. In character, as close as possible, I'd like to think. One-shot for now. **

**Disclaimer: BioWare runs the show. **

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**_Title: (Untitled) _

_Sender: (Error: Invalid Sender Name.) _

_-Meet me at The Citadel. Zakera's Ward. In the Neon Markets. I'll find you. Won't take it personally if there's a no show. _

_-An Old Friend. _

Two months. Two months and he was finally able to meet the writer of that e-mail. This was the only time he was able to receive leave, especially before the Alliance shipped him off to Horizon to some colony out in the middle of the Terminus System. He had volunteered for the mission sure, but there was something about the Citadel he couldn't ignore. Something, or _someone_ that always managed to breach his thoughts.

Shepard.

He rarely ever used her first name anymore, if he ever did to begin with. He was so used to everyone calling her Shepard, especially after her death and 'burial' an empty coffin due to lack of body. Of course time moved on as usual, or at least for everyone else, it did. Kaidan had stayed at a stand still, smack dab in the middle of the Alliance, taking neither a step forward, or back. Since his commanding officers death, he hadn't seen the point in working under another superior, other then top brass that is. Even the thought brought pure disinterest. And after a few months, something clicked that propelled him forward, whether it was the sudden realization that she wasn't coming back, he couldn't tell.

He did nothing but stick to his assignments, intel, details, duties, excelling, for nothing else occupied his mind. Until he received that e-mail, as if personally clicking the button on his auto-pilot, causing a violent hault to his routinic procedures. So here he was, weaving through the masses, after a late day of work, his last day for another month, and then he would be off to Horizon. This time - the message propelled him, this 'old friend.' With exhaustion, irritation and a killer migraine heading his way, he trudged through the Presidium in location to the closest rapid transit terminal to reach his destination. Either it was a legit acquaintance, or some convict wanting payback for something he had done in his early years with the Alliance, he was prepared, for the latter, or what he hoped for- due to pure laziness and desire to dodge confrontation- the former.

Kaidan was no where near the mood for 'funny business.'

Not since the past turn in events, not with all the dreams and occasional nightmares that visited him in the nights where sleep seldomly greeted him with open arms. No, it was _her _embrace that haunted him. A tangle of limbs, heavy pants, heated skin, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. All these images always leaving him breathless and shaky when waking up. There was no escaping it and he hadn't yet decided if he even wanted to.

_A battle of wills, pushing, pulling, giving and taking just as much. Moans answering growls, and sighs answered to mummers. Both wanting the same goal, reaching the same abyss together. _

Kaidan nearly running into an adjacent speeder, forcing him out of his thoughts and into the chaos of traffic in front of him. Zakera Ward, Neon Market's. He just had to get there - an unknown urgency forcing him forward. Disobeying speeder handling laws set down by C-sec. He just had to get there.

"_Migraine's Again?" _

"_Unfortunately yes. I hope I'm not disturbing you." _

"_Of course not. Crew's quarters can always get pretty loud. Besides, I told you my door is always open." The only light in the room was from Shepard's holo pad in her hands, her form splayed out on her bed in back of the Captain's quarters. _

"_I wasn't quite sure if you were serious, or if it was just a heat of the moment type thing." Even in the dark room, Shepard could feel the intensity of his gaze as he wandered further into her room. She smirked at this. _

"_I'm never a spur in the moment type person Kaidan, you know that." _

_She scooted over as he sat down on the edge of the bed by her. He smiled at her playful banter, eyes roaming over her raven black hair, flawless tanned skin and extremely rare violet eyes. Clear of any make-up washed off by the shower she had probably taken earlier. Still. She was beautiful. He couldn't believe how lucky he was that he had captured her heart as surely as she had captured his. _

"_I do. After all it would be irresponsible of me not to. Considering how often we see each other." he smirked. _

"_Oh?" she quirked an eyebrow. "And how often is that?" _

"_Not enough." he whispered, there faces now inches apart, inching closer. _

"_You think so?" she tsked, shaking her head, their lips practically touching._

"_We'll have to do something about that." _

"_I'm all ears ma'am." _

_He took her then, placing her late night reading on the bedside table before covering her body completely with his, lips never separating. _

Two hours later he had finally reached the upper markets, where surveillance was scarce and light sparse. He weaved through the markets and advertisements passing asari, turians and krogan alike. What was he doing? He had no idea who this person was. This was the first rule he learned all the way back in Brain Camp. Always know your informant, location, destination, appearance, purpose, level of danger, if they were trustworthy, or if they were close to a threat.

Great, something a twelve year old could understand, he couldn't comprehend nor follow through.

As this passed through his head, a hand shot out of a nearby shadowed corner, grasping his upper bicep with a good amount of strength and force, tugging him into the dark break of buildings. Kaidan acted quickly, distinctly, tracing back to what he had learned in basic training. He spun, grabbing the shadows hand, successfully pushing the hooded figure's back to the wall, pulling out a standardized pistol from the clip on his waist, pointing the barrel under the suspects chin, uncapping the safety while doing so.

Kaidan couldn't help but notice the forms lack of retaliation or interference, whoever this was, they _let _him take hold of the situation. That's when he took inventory, he studied the size of the chin, to where his gun pointed, the sharpness of the person's jaw, more importantly, the soft, delicate texture of skin, a couple of scars dotting around the right side, but other then that, flawless, red, pouting lips.

A woman. Human. He noted.

An assassin maybe? They weren't doing a very good job. Freelancer? But if any of those were correct, then where was their weapon?

The figures black gloved hands rose by their head, pointing their index finger to her hood. He complied but as soon as he did, his pistol automatically clattered to the ground as he gasped.

"Shepard?!" he questioned, his throat seeming to close up as the same hand that had held his gun no more then five seconds before, cupped the apple of her cheek, holding caution to the still open scratches lining her skin. He expected her to disappear, his fingers coming into contact with air, but no, her face was solid beneath his palm. She was real.

"How can that be?" he asked desperately, his migraine only seeming to increase by this madness, his brow furrowing.

"I saw the blast! I read over your KIA report. I spoke at your service. I watched as they buried your casket!" he exclaimed, anger breaching the surface at feeling deceived. Punching the wall beside her head with his clenched fist. But Shepard didn't flinch, she expected this, hell, how would anyone act at finding out, a person - a person who was very close to you - who you thought was killed after two years, and you run into them? Pretty mind boggling.

"Do you always believe what people tell you?" she tried to lighten the mood. His eyes narrowed,

"When it's something of this magnitude, yes, who do you take me for Shepard? Two years?" he questioned, now angry that perhaps he had exaggerated the meaning of their night together before Ilos. Were all his feelings one sided? Had he over thought everything between them? No. he knew what he felt. You don't experience a night like that and the others after with casual feelings, or emotions. He just knew it. He knew better. She grasped his hand, the one still resting on her cheek.

"I've been unconscious for the past two years. What? Did you expect me to spontaneously wake up and send ya a vid-mail? 'Yeah, this is Shepard - I'm being rebuilt, too busy unfreezing blood vessels and my heart to pay a formal visit?' Come on Kaidan." she shook her head, trying, to silently tell him to think with reason. He sighed, shaking his head, his fingers wrapping around her hand, his thumb pressing against her wrist, taking in the strong sure beat of the blood pumping through her veins.

She was alive, and here finally. And he was making an ass out of himself. He took in the scars that lined her face.

"How is it you manage to cheat death with nothing but a few scrapes?" he smirked, lightening his hold, but not stepping back. "And what's with the questionable attire." he commented, his eyes roaming her form. Shepard smiled, realizing under his gaze and the warmth coming off him, a comforting contrast to the drafty place.

"I take the risk to sneak out against orders to see you, and I end up getting chewed out. Thanks Kaidan." he chuckled, his former questions being snuffed out by her reply. He always was one to jump the gun before explanations, a fault, he would admit.

"I am worth it." he replied somewhat arrogantly, taking it in his place to bow his head, their lips meeting before she could say anything to object.

Sighs left their lips at this, one thing they had missed from being separated. He'd be damned if he ever let anything or one person do that again. Her arms round around his neck, pulling him closer to her so there was nothing, not even air between their bodies in the closed corridor, shut away from curious spectators in the traffic of people browsing the markets. But they weren't paying any attention to that, they couldn't manage to take their attention off each other, especially after the amount of time and absence they had been apart. There was a lot to address, but that could wait as Kaidan's hands lifted to cradle her head, bringing it closer to him, his fingers tangling in her hair. He was wrapped up in her taste, smell, just plainly in her. Their lips parted, and then met, again, and again, Until they were forced to part finally to allow each other to catch their breath.

"Now where was that submissive Lieutenant I came to know and love?" he laughed at that.

"Commander now, ma'am." he retorted with a deep breath.

"My mistake."

They seemed to cut the banter after that, Kaidan taking in the gravity of what was, and Shepard, realizing what was in front of her. Two years since she ordered him to leave her, in the middle of a burning ship, lost by the amount of damage inflicted upon it. Of course she hadn't known that that was going to be the 'last time' she would see him. Shepard couldn't have imagined what it must've been for him.

_I think about losing you and I can't stand it. _

His words ringing through her head.

"I'm sorry." she stated after a while. Her eyes starting to burn. All the pain came back from when he lost her, the funeral, month's of coping. Having to realize and eventually accept she wasn't coming back. And after all those month's of pain and loss, here she was. It seemed now, like an unneeded waste of time.

"You died." he breathed out, weak at the knees, his hands cupping both her shoulders.

"You left me. It just wasn't pain I felt, agony of giving myself completely to someone just to have them leave me in the most definite way. But betrayal, I felt betrayed Shepard. I felt like you had left me. And I…hated you. I hated you for just leaving, being so selfish to where you could just leave. I've told you I'd follow you anywhere. And in that moment, you went somewhere I couldn't." he confessed. Kaidan bowed his head, their foreheads almost touching.

"I'm here now." she responded, not knowing what else to say. "I missed you." she added just as quietly, cupping both sides of his face, silently urging him to look at her. When his eyes met hers, she continued, "I gave word as soon as I could, as soon as my team got off Freedom's Progress." Alarm lighted his eyes at this.

"The colony that disappeared." he stated, she nodded, "Was Cerberus behind it?" he questioned immediately after. Shepard shook her head,

"Kaidan. I'm with Cerberus. They are the ones that brought me back to life. Saved me."

He bristled at this, "You're with them? After all we found out about them? You join 'em without question. What about the Alliance? What about -"

"They're not what we thought, they're investigating the missing colonies, we've been lead to believe, we have surveillance of collectors, proof, we know they're behind the disappearances. Not Cerberus if that's what the Alliance is thinking."

"That sill doesn't erase their past actions." he argued, stepping back, both of them feeling the loss.

"I'm planning on braking all ties after I'm done defeating the collector's, don't read so much into this Kaidan." she tried to reason. Minutes passed.

"I have no choice but to trust you after all." he relented reluctantly with a sigh, finding no other way. His eyes wandered, "I'm not sure - but you have changed - something - " he trailed off softly. Their foreheads rested against each other, every bone in Shepard's body screaming to kiss him, press her lips to his. She _had _missed him, more then anyone could let on. But that's when he spoke, leaning back.

"My next assignment is on Horizon. The Alliance wanted me there to monitor any Cerberus activity to see if they had any involvement with Freedom's Progress. But my cover story would be to install defense turrets in the event that there is an attack."

"There will be." she stated, certain that the colony would most likely be next due to it's location in the Terminus System, they could use this. Where all the other colonies were located. Kaidan nodded at this,

"But, Collector's? Are you sure?"

"Positive. But please don't tell your commanding officer, or the Council for that matter, they would have a field day. We're trying to stay under the radar." Kaidan's eyes narrowed, he didn't answer for a moment, seeming to scrutinize the situation with his thoughts and opinion.

"You get rid of those Collector's Shepard - it's my ass that's on the line because of this." she nodded gratefully at this, perhaps he could really trust her again, like old times, comforting to see he was making an effort.

"Thanks Kaidan. For everything."

She took in the changes in him, the bags under his eyes, a few added wrinkles and stress lines, he looked exhausted.

"You look terrible." she confessed with concern, smoothing a hand down his cheek. He snorted at this,

"A comment every man wants to hear, I'm sure." he smirked.

His eyes softened as his fingers ran through her hair experimentally, seeming darker somehow, he looking better actually, he carried an air of confidence around him, something he hadn't had when she first met him, on their first briefing and mission.

"Will these heal?" he inquired, motioning to the scratches dotting her forehead, cheek and jaw.

"In time. A simple thing of mind over matter."

"Nah, I don't know Shepard, sounds like a challenge for you - ow!" he exclaimed as he received a blow to the arm for his comment.

"You might want to put that up by the way, until you have a body on it that's not by you." she informed, motioning toward the pistol he had long since dropped.

"Always ordering me around - I out rank you now, so it seems." he cocked his head to the side.

"We'll see who answers to who when I'm finished with you."

He chuckled, "Is that so?"

"Shut up and com'ere." she tugged at the back of his neck.

"Yes ma'am." he replied.

His daydreams couldn't compare to the real thing.

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**Tell me what you guys think.**


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